Dear Friend, 

We are a stone’s throw away from our wedding and so far, all of the wedding ideas and decisions on the wedding decorations came from me. My groom-to-be seems to be uninterested in any aspect of the planning and I’m beginning to feel the pressure of everything. 

How do I get him to join the wedding planning? 

Sincerely, 

Bride-to-be

Dear Bride-to-be,

First, congratulations on your engagement! I’m sure that the high from that moment coupled with the long days and hours spent on planning your wedding may seem like a rollercoaster ride. The biggest challenge about weddings is the planning and though with technology, a lot of things can be done easily now, a lot of things can also go easier when your groom-to-be is also your partner in the process.

To help you with your situation, here are a few things to take note of:

  1. He may seem uninterested, but the groom might be more interested in the planning than you think. It’s just that most of the time, the wedding is packaged as the bride’s big day. Thus, he wants you to shine and sometimes, one way of showing you that he understands how much this day means to you is by taking the back seat. To avoid this, ask for his inputs early on in the planning stage. After all, weddings are not just about the bride. It’s about him too.
  2. To avoid miscommunications and overlaps, delegate responsibilities early on the wedding planning. After all, not all bridegrooms have an experience in planning a wedding so it might be best to be clear who handles what for your big day. The best way to go about this is to ask what items in your wedding to-do-list that he wants to be in charge of. It can also be a fun experience for him, especially when the items are things he’s a special interest in. For example, is the groom a foodie? Then, he might want to be the one in charge of the caterer or the wedding cake.
  3. Don’t forget, the groom has an opinion too! He just might not be as vocal about it as you. So, when you ask him about what he thinks of the flowers or the band, make sure you’re also willing to hear his input about it and you are not just asking for the sake of asking.
  4. Just like how you want to enjoy your wedding day, the groom wants to have fun too! It’s just that, he might have a different definition of what is fun during the wedding. For some grooms, the first dance is a great way to showcase their moves on the dance floor. Meanwhile, others find the whole ordeal nerve-wracking. To make sure that the whole day is not just a series of things he doesn’t find enjoyable, review the things you want to incorporate during your reception or ceremony. Are there things that he’s not really particular on? Maybe it’s time to let that bit go?

Your big day is not about the party, but the start of your marriage. Planning a wedding can be an amazing opportunity for you and your groom to develop certain skills together like negotiating and decision-making. Plus, at the end of the day, weddings are more than just the perfect dress, cake and ring. It’s about celebrating a new chapter of your lives together and maybe that’s what the groom is more excited about than planning the party.